Woman refuses to allow husband's mother to stay in their one-bedroom apartment for 2 months out of fear it'll be a longer stay than originally planned: 'My husband says I'm catastrophizing and making this harder than it is'

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
May 29, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

Finding the space and privacy you need from time to time in a relationship is a constant struggled—especially if you're apartment living. I live in a one-bedroom apartment with my boyfriend, and he constantly thinks I'm annoyed with him because I want to be alone. No, I just need my nonverbal TikTok time. That's all a girl needs at the end of the day, am I right ladies?!

The point is, there is usually no room to house another person in spaces like this. Couch surfing is possible, sure—but then your living room is out of commission until further notice. The ideal situation would be that your guest find another place to stay, possible with your financial help (if the situation warrants this).

The woman in this next story explains that her husband's mother is going through a grieving period, where she just lost her husband. To remedy the situation, her husband wants to house his mom for at least two months. The woman is sympathetic but explains that there is genuinely no room for this, no matter how dire. She offers to help pay for an Airbnb, to no avail. Scroll to read the full story below.

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  • "I feel like I'm being emotionally blackmailed-that if I don't agree, I'm cruel, ungrateful, or selfish.”
    via Alexander Lunyov for Unsplash

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for telling my husband I don’t want his mom to stay with us for two months in our one-bedroom apartment?"

    My (31F) husband (30M) and I have been married for a few months. His father passed away recently, and understandably, his mother is grieving. My husband
    via No-Situation2950
  • and his sister have been trying to support her. The issue is this: my mother-in-law may come stay with us for two months in our one-bedroom apartment.
    via No-Situation2950
  • Our apartment is small. I work from home full-time, we have a cat, and we only have one bathroom. My husband works in- office three days a week. His
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  • sister and her husband are also expecting their in-laws to visit during that time, so they can't host the mother-in-law, and the MIL apparently doesn't feel
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  • comfortable around them anyway. So she wants to stay with us-even though we have less space and privacy.
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  • I initially asked for a six-month buffer before having family stay over long-term-just so we could adjust to marriage and living together. That boundary was
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  • acknowledged verbally, but now it's being brushed aside because of "family duty." I said I'd be okay with a 3-week visit, but anything longer feels really overwhelming,
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  • especially in such a small space. I've also suggested an Airbnb, which I said I'd help pay for, but my husband and his sister don't see that as reasonable.
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  • Now I feel like I have only three options: 1. Say yes and live in stress for 2 months 2. Move to a two-bedroom (which we can't afford right now) 3. Leave
    via No-Situation2950
  • My husband says I'm catastrophizing and making this harder than it is. But I feel like I'm being emotionally blackmailed- that if I don't agree, I'm cruel, ungrateful, or selfish. I don't hate
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  • my MIL. However, she did fat- shame me the day after my wedding, and expects me to help with domestic duties without asking my husband to lift a finger.
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  • I mostly just value having boundaries and privacy, especially during a vulnerable time in our marriage. I've tried to compromise but feel completely cornered.
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  • AITA for standing firm on not wanting a 2-month stay in our one-bedroom apartment-even after a death in the family?
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  • EDIT: She is currently staying and can stay with my husband's sister who has the space, but doesn't want to during that time since her inlaws will be visiting for 1.5-2 months hence the duration. My MIL herself has said she wants to stay with my husband/her son.
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  • EDIT 2: His mother is highly dependent on others. She relied on her husband for everything. We're South Asian.
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  • gabbythecat68 NTA have a feeling once she moves in she might never leave. Where does she plan to sleep? Good luck!
    via gabbythecat68
  • No-Situation2950 We were planning on setting up a futon/living corner in the living room. She'll have to share it with the cat. I will NOT be giving up my bedroom and my husband has assured me that too.
    via No-Situation2950
  • RoyallyOakie NTA...This is a hard NO situation. Grieving or not, his mother is an adult, and can understand the basic logistics involved. You don't have the space or situation to house long-term guests. If your husband doesn't understand that or respect your wishes; this will set the stage for your entire marriage.
    via RoyallyOakie
  • Tall_Confection_960 This. The cultural expectation that MIL already expects OP to do all the domestic labor while her son is not expected to lift a finger, on top of MIL never having had to care for herself spells disaster for OP. OP will have to juggle working from home and waiting on both her husband and MIL hand and foot while having zero privacy to escape for any breaks. As a newly married couple, this is when OP and her husband should be learning how to live together and balance their home
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  • RoyallyOakie And honestly is the husband CANNOT put his marriage first, then it's better to bail in the beginning.
    via RoyallyOakie
  • Cheezburger Image 10511439872
    via Hans Isaacson For Unsplash+

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